Parenthood

So... Mom is here, and Dean is on his way, and I was just realizing... I'm going to be a Mom. No, I'm going to be THE Mom. I will be the person that has sole responsibility for a living being. He will be mine. I will have no one else to hand him off to when he has a needs a diaper change. I'll be the person who he is given to when he is crying inconsolably. I'm the one that has to clean up the spit up and get up with him at two in the morning... and at midnight, and at five... blah. Being a Mom is going to be hard work. I watch Heather day after day being a mom to her kids, but I guess it has taken a while for it to register to me that I'm going to be the Mom. I watch Heather's kids all the time, but whenever there is a problem I just hand them off to her. I spent some time with Kristy last January, and I spent a week each with Lindy and Lia, and I've spent several days over the months with MaeLyn. I have watched you all with your kids. I have seen the different parenting styles, accompanied by extremely different children. But all of this has been from an observatory standpoint. Any day now I'm going to have this baby, and he will be mine. I will be the Mom. I will have to figure out this kid and develop my own parenting style. The way he turns out will largely be determined by me. That's a lot of responsibility. It is a daunting prospect. I've thought about this before, but I guess it never really sunk in until tonight. I've thought about my baby quite a lot lately. I've thought about holding him, and playing with him when he's a bit older, and teaching him things as he grows up. It has all seemed rather exciting. I mean, I've always known that it is hard work, and that there is a lot of unpleasantries associated with parenting, but I guess it just really hit me. Wow. This baby could come at any time now, and it won't be some hypothetical future type thing. This is now. Don't get me wrong, I'm still way excited about this, and I am totally looking forward to this, but... Oh I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm just gaining a greater appreciation for parents. Maybe that's what triggered all of this thinking. Mom got here today. Thanks Mom for everything that you do, and have done over the past thirty however many years you have been a parent. That goes for Dad too, and for all of the rest of you too. You are all so wonderful. Keep up the good work. You are all great parents. I love you lots. And for those of you that are not yet parents, you have a lot to look forward to. Sorry for my rambling blog... but that was what was on my mind, so that is what I wrote. :)

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