March - something about me, and a goal
My kids have been sick for the past two weeks. I'm getting awfully tired of the quarantine. As of today, all four kids have a cough, although the coughs are getting fewer and farther between. I completely lost my voice yesterday, and am doing much better today, although now I've got a cough too. We went ahead and went to church today, because I really needed it. I just about died of a coughing attack when I attempted to sing the opening song in Sacrament meeting. After that, I decided it probably wasn't a good idea to stay for choir practice after church. That was all well though because Dean is in Utah for the next three weeks, so I don't have anyone else to watch the kids anyways.
I have been realizing some things about me recently. I am a very social person. I love to be with people! In the past I have had a really hard time initiating conversations with people, even people that I know well. That's something that I've been working on though, and I think I am getting a little better. I do prefer to converse with people who are naturally talkative though, and have no problem keeping the conversation going. That's one of the reasons why Dean and I work so well together. He likes to talk!
I tend to do better one on one than in big groups. When I'm in a big group, often, conversations will be going on all around me and I will simply sit back and listen, not joining in on any one conversation, and then feeling like I'm eavesdropping. I would feel like I were butting in if I suddenly joined the conversation though. Its always very awkward, and something that I would like to work on, although I'm not sure how.
I remember many times at playgroups when Deano and Andrew were little when I would go, say hello to everyone, then sit for the next two hours without saying a single word. I would look forward all week to that one social interaction, and then on the way home I would just cry because I had blown my chance. I think it's a little easier now that my kids are growing up. My interactions with my children are becoming a little more stimulating. I still find myself craving different social interaction though.
Over the past few years I have done the pathway program, I took a couple of art classes, I participated in a musical, and I have been in three different choirs. While these were all good for learning and creative reasons too, I really loved having something scheduled that I could count on going to every week, and be with people, and knew I wouldn't have to struggle to find things to chat about. I guess I prefer some sort of structure to my social interactions.
When I was in highschool I had a great group of friends. We never really hung out much outside of school, but most often during lunchtime we would break out a deck of cards and play one game or another. We would talk about a lot of different things, but if the conversation ever did wane, it was okay because we could focus on the game. I really love game nights for that reason. It's informal enough that conversation is free, but structured enough to give an easy topic of conversation when necessary.
Dean and I have tried having game nights a few times, with mixed results. Once we invited a ton of people and one couple showed up an hour and a half late just when we decided it wasn't happening. Once we invited a ton of people just to make sure someone came, and we had way way too many people. Dean had a great time, but I was stressing out a little.
In the past, I have had a lot of anxiety when it comes to inviting people over. I was always afraid that people are only going to say yes because they feel obligated to, and they don't really want to. I worried about inviting people with young kids that are going to need a babysitter. I stressed over putting out any invitation at all to anything, for any reason. I have decided though to just believe what people say. If they say they want to come, then maybe they really do want to come. If they can't come because they can't get a babysitter, then maybe they'll feel grateful that we invited them anyways. No one is going to be offended that I want to hang out with them, and if they don't want to, then they are always welcome to say no.
So this is my goal right now. Sometime during the month of March, I am going to invite someone to come hang out with me! That is, if we all get to feeling better...
I have been realizing some things about me recently. I am a very social person. I love to be with people! In the past I have had a really hard time initiating conversations with people, even people that I know well. That's something that I've been working on though, and I think I am getting a little better. I do prefer to converse with people who are naturally talkative though, and have no problem keeping the conversation going. That's one of the reasons why Dean and I work so well together. He likes to talk!
I tend to do better one on one than in big groups. When I'm in a big group, often, conversations will be going on all around me and I will simply sit back and listen, not joining in on any one conversation, and then feeling like I'm eavesdropping. I would feel like I were butting in if I suddenly joined the conversation though. Its always very awkward, and something that I would like to work on, although I'm not sure how.
I remember many times at playgroups when Deano and Andrew were little when I would go, say hello to everyone, then sit for the next two hours without saying a single word. I would look forward all week to that one social interaction, and then on the way home I would just cry because I had blown my chance. I think it's a little easier now that my kids are growing up. My interactions with my children are becoming a little more stimulating. I still find myself craving different social interaction though.
Over the past few years I have done the pathway program, I took a couple of art classes, I participated in a musical, and I have been in three different choirs. While these were all good for learning and creative reasons too, I really loved having something scheduled that I could count on going to every week, and be with people, and knew I wouldn't have to struggle to find things to chat about. I guess I prefer some sort of structure to my social interactions.
When I was in highschool I had a great group of friends. We never really hung out much outside of school, but most often during lunchtime we would break out a deck of cards and play one game or another. We would talk about a lot of different things, but if the conversation ever did wane, it was okay because we could focus on the game. I really love game nights for that reason. It's informal enough that conversation is free, but structured enough to give an easy topic of conversation when necessary.
Dean and I have tried having game nights a few times, with mixed results. Once we invited a ton of people and one couple showed up an hour and a half late just when we decided it wasn't happening. Once we invited a ton of people just to make sure someone came, and we had way way too many people. Dean had a great time, but I was stressing out a little.
In the past, I have had a lot of anxiety when it comes to inviting people over. I was always afraid that people are only going to say yes because they feel obligated to, and they don't really want to. I worried about inviting people with young kids that are going to need a babysitter. I stressed over putting out any invitation at all to anything, for any reason. I have decided though to just believe what people say. If they say they want to come, then maybe they really do want to come. If they can't come because they can't get a babysitter, then maybe they'll feel grateful that we invited them anyways. No one is going to be offended that I want to hang out with them, and if they don't want to, then they are always welcome to say no.
So this is my goal right now. Sometime during the month of March, I am going to invite someone to come hang out with me! That is, if we all get to feeling better...
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