Being April

There wasn't really anything in particular that made today a good day. I think more it was just the fact that today was not as bad as I expected it to be. I didn't really do anything at all today, it was just a lazy day. Last night with some help from Tejay I got little Dean to go to sleep, and he slept surprisingly well. After finally getting him to sleep around midnight he slept until three. I changed his diaper and fed him and he went right back to sleep and slept until eight. I think I got more sleep last night than the rest of the week combined. This morning I got an email from Dean saying that he made it safely to Ireland, and then he called me this afternoon from Kuwait. Its amazing how fast he can get to the other side of the world. I miss him, but it's not nearly so bad as the first time he left. I guess I am fairly used to his absence by now. It just took me a day to remember. It also helps to have little Dean around. Yeah, I have a hard ...

I think over the past week and a half, I have averaged maybe two hours of sleep each night. Most days I have gotten to take at least a short nap, but not every day, and they usually are very short. I am exhausted. I am realizing more and more just how difficult this is. Yesterday we went to MaeLyn's house for Thanksgiving, and MaeLyn was able to get little Dean to stop crying fairly easily, but then the moment I took him back he started crying again. He does the same thing when handed to Tejay or to Dean or to pretty much anyone else. MaeLyn has had four kids, and has dealt with all of this before and knows some tricks of the trade. Its not a matter of him liking her any better than me. I know that. But it is still kinda hurts. Last week he was still losing more weight than the doctor felt comfortable with, so she asked me to pump milk for him and supplement him with that to get him to eat more. I didn't see any problem with that, so I did. Well, it...

What can I say... As I try to decide what to type, I look over behind me at my husband back from war, holding our brand new son. Wow. What am I supposed to say about something like this? It is the most amazing thing. There really are no words to express how I am feeling right now. Well... I guess there is always, exhausted, sore, happy, somewhat frustrated, completely elated, very nervous, overjoyed... I guess there are words... I just don't know which ones to put in here for my family to read. I guess I should probably give my "labor story." I feel as if I have heard a million different labor stories since becoming pregnant. Everyone seems so eager to share the story of their child's birth. Maybe someday I'll be like that too... but right now it just seems kinda weird. They decided to induce me because of some slight high blood pressure issues, but more because they took pity on me because Dean doesn't get to be here for ...

Dean James Dawes was born at 9:09 pm November 15th 2009, He was 7 lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches Long. Both Mom and Baby are doing fine.

So... Mom is here, and Dean is on his way, and I was just realizing... I'm going to be a Mom. No, I'm going to be THE Mom. I will be the person that has sole responsibility for a living being. He will be mine. I will have no one else to hand him off to when he has a needs a diaper change. I'll be the person who he is given to when he is crying inconsolably. I'm the one that has to clean up the spit up and get up with him at two in the morning... and at midnight, and at five... blah. Being a Mom is going to be hard work. I watch Heather day after day being a mom to her kids, but I guess it has taken a while for it to register to me that I'm going to be the Mom. I watch Heather's kids all the time, but whenever there is a problem I just hand them off to her. I spent some time with Kristy last January, and I spent a week each with Lindy and Lia, and I've spent several days over the months with MaeLyn. I have watched you all with your k...