Life Sucks... kinda
Life sucks... sometimes... it really does. I have many times in my life when things just weren't working out in the way that I expected or wanted them to. I've had long periods of time when I have been lonely or frustrated or discouraged. Right now I am so frustrated because the rain is preventing roofers to replace the roof on my new house, so we can't close on the house. I'm stuck in an obnoxious state of limbo for an indeterminate amount of time. Dean is going to be out of town for all of June, and right now, best case scenario gets us closing on our house on May 29th. I kinda doubt that will work out though, because the ten day forecast has rain every single day until June 1st. If things work out as I fear, the house will finally close after Dean has left. I'll have to get a power of attorney so I can sign for him. I'll have to organize the move myself. We have outdoor things that need to be put together that I'll have to do myself. I'll have to figure out how to get the tv and computer hooked up on my own. And to top it off, as soon as we move in, we're getting a dog! I'll have to train it and get it used to the home and family, and get the kids used to it, all the while trying to unpack. I also have not one, but two children who need to finish potty training, one of whom is in serious danger of not getting to go to Kindergarten in the fall like he is supposed to. Also I'm taking a class, and I've got my church calling which is turning out more time consuming than I anticipated and the kids will be out of school, and there are swimming lessons and a myriad of other summer things we're going to have to deal with.
If you can't tell I'm feeling just a tad stressed.
It'll all be fine though.
Life sucks. Such is the nature of life. Nothing has gone horribly wrong. None of this is a major tragedy, just normal trials and challenges that everyone is faced with. There have been some times in my life when things have been so much worse. Like when Dean had to deploy just six weeks before our fourth baby was born. That was pretty awful, then I had four children including a newborn all by myself for nine months. Or how about the time Dean was working at McDonald's because he couldn't find work anywhere else, and we were just barely, scraping by. That was not fun in the least. Or what about the time that Dean quit his job at the Sheriff's department where he was bored and frustrated but stable to take a job at a mine, which paid great and was much less stressful for him, only to get fired the day before his probation period was up. Of course he was fired right around thanksgiving, so that threw all our Christmas plans out the window. Or backing up a bit, how about when my dad announced that he lost his job and we would most likely be moving the day before my Junior year of high school ended. I didn't really even get a chance to tell my friends that I would be leaving, and many of them I never saw again. My senior year I spent in Utah staunchly avoiding making friends because it would be less than a year that I would be going to college, so I didn't really see the point. That was a very lonely year. And more recently, even when things all look good from the outside, there are so many days when I am just overwhelmed and frustrated because my kids keep pooping in their pants, and my living room looks like a giant trashcan, and my kids keep breaking things, and the neighbor girl comes over and stresses me out, and this house that I'm renting is barely insulated at all and I feel like I'm freezing and my toes are numb all the time. Life really does suck. Sometimes. To some extent, all the time.
I think we're supposed to go through trials though. None of this was any sort of punishment for not being more obedient to Heavenly Father. I think there are times when people's trials are a direct result of disobedience, like if someone is a heavy drinker, they are most likely going to do something stupid, or end up with liver problems and die early. Or infidelity can lead to broken families and a whole lot of heartache. These are natural consequences for bad choices.
I can think of a few other times when people didn't listen to the council of prophets and other leaders and had consequences. Like when Jacob Haun didn't pass the word along that the prophet had told the Saints to leave Haun's Mill and gather together. A lot of people paid the price for the mistake of their leader. Then there are times like Sodom and Gomorrah or the majority of the people in Noah's time. All of the people were so wicked, that God sent away the few people that were righteous and destroyed the rest. Or the people that Joshua and the Israelites wiped out to obtain their land of promise.
I think those cases are pretty extreme. Maybe it is in stories like these that someone could get the impression that our church teaches that people who are obedient are blessed, and those that aren't are punished. Somehow I never thought of it that way. I feel like anyone who came to the conclusion must have heard entirely different gospel lessons than I have.
The stories that I remember are these:
The early members of the church faced so many trials, they were driven from one place to another to another and finally across the great plains. They were persecuted, ridiculed and many of them died. Many of them died. The prophet was killed. They may not have been living the gospel perfectly, but compared to those doing the persecuting, if trials are caused by disobedience, the early saints should have had fewer trials than those around them instead of vastly more.
How about Job? There is a whole book in the Bible illustrating the fact that someone could be keeping the commandments diligently and still face every trial imaginable.
Or Nephi? Sure Nephi was led to a land of promise away from a Jerusalem that was destroyed, but he had to travel through the wilderness for years on end, and he had to go with his brothers who abused him and tried to kill him and were constantly a thorn in his side.
If you can't tell I'm feeling just a tad stressed.
It'll all be fine though.
Life sucks. Such is the nature of life. Nothing has gone horribly wrong. None of this is a major tragedy, just normal trials and challenges that everyone is faced with. There have been some times in my life when things have been so much worse. Like when Dean had to deploy just six weeks before our fourth baby was born. That was pretty awful, then I had four children including a newborn all by myself for nine months. Or how about the time Dean was working at McDonald's because he couldn't find work anywhere else, and we were just barely, scraping by. That was not fun in the least. Or what about the time that Dean quit his job at the Sheriff's department where he was bored and frustrated but stable to take a job at a mine, which paid great and was much less stressful for him, only to get fired the day before his probation period was up. Of course he was fired right around thanksgiving, so that threw all our Christmas plans out the window. Or backing up a bit, how about when my dad announced that he lost his job and we would most likely be moving the day before my Junior year of high school ended. I didn't really even get a chance to tell my friends that I would be leaving, and many of them I never saw again. My senior year I spent in Utah staunchly avoiding making friends because it would be less than a year that I would be going to college, so I didn't really see the point. That was a very lonely year. And more recently, even when things all look good from the outside, there are so many days when I am just overwhelmed and frustrated because my kids keep pooping in their pants, and my living room looks like a giant trashcan, and my kids keep breaking things, and the neighbor girl comes over and stresses me out, and this house that I'm renting is barely insulated at all and I feel like I'm freezing and my toes are numb all the time. Life really does suck. Sometimes. To some extent, all the time.
I think we're supposed to go through trials though. None of this was any sort of punishment for not being more obedient to Heavenly Father. I think there are times when people's trials are a direct result of disobedience, like if someone is a heavy drinker, they are most likely going to do something stupid, or end up with liver problems and die early. Or infidelity can lead to broken families and a whole lot of heartache. These are natural consequences for bad choices.
I can think of a few other times when people didn't listen to the council of prophets and other leaders and had consequences. Like when Jacob Haun didn't pass the word along that the prophet had told the Saints to leave Haun's Mill and gather together. A lot of people paid the price for the mistake of their leader. Then there are times like Sodom and Gomorrah or the majority of the people in Noah's time. All of the people were so wicked, that God sent away the few people that were righteous and destroyed the rest. Or the people that Joshua and the Israelites wiped out to obtain their land of promise.
I think those cases are pretty extreme. Maybe it is in stories like these that someone could get the impression that our church teaches that people who are obedient are blessed, and those that aren't are punished. Somehow I never thought of it that way. I feel like anyone who came to the conclusion must have heard entirely different gospel lessons than I have.
The stories that I remember are these:
John 9:1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? These disciples obviously held the belief that trials are a result of disobedience.
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
Maybe some of trials are just to give Him a chance to show us that He can overcome them, or that with Him, we can overcome them.The early members of the church faced so many trials, they were driven from one place to another to another and finally across the great plains. They were persecuted, ridiculed and many of them died. Many of them died. The prophet was killed. They may not have been living the gospel perfectly, but compared to those doing the persecuting, if trials are caused by disobedience, the early saints should have had fewer trials than those around them instead of vastly more.
How about Job? There is a whole book in the Bible illustrating the fact that someone could be keeping the commandments diligently and still face every trial imaginable.
Or Nephi? Sure Nephi was led to a land of promise away from a Jerusalem that was destroyed, but he had to travel through the wilderness for years on end, and he had to go with his brothers who abused him and tried to kill him and were constantly a thorn in his side.
2 Nephi 4:19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away
upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great
things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I
should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
His trials were not caused because of his sins, if anything, God had been helping and sustaining him through his trials. He was sad because he was still sinning. Nephi aspired to be perfect, and he wasn't yet. I don't think God intends for us to be overcome with sadness at the thought of our shortcomings, but Nephi had had so many visions and witnesses that he felt that he should be doing better. I think this is called Godly sorrow. Godly sorrow helps us to improve and better ourselves, it is very different than guilt and depression. 2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
Okay, so If trials are not as a result of punishment, why do we have trials? Why does God let bad things happen to people who are working hard to keep His commandments? And what does it mean that the righteous are blessed if it doesn't mean that their lives will be sunshine and rainbows? And what can we do when we are facing trials to not let them overwhelm us or keep us sad? I think this is a topic for another day.
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