Curdled Milk
Yesterday morning, Isaac woke up for the day a little earlier than I wanted, so I brought him into the living room, closed the gate to the stairs, put a chair in front of the kitchen doorway, and proceeded to doze on the couch while he played with toys. I would open my eyes briefly to check on him periodically, and I listened closely so I would have some idea of what he was doing.
After about 15 minutes of this I opened my eyes because he had just made a happy sound and started crawling quickly, and I wanted to know what had piqued his interest. He had spotted a sippy cup that he had dropped the night before. If the sippy cup had just had water in it, I probably would have just let him have it, but it had milk. Milk that had more than likely curdled overnight, and he really shouldn't be drinking it. Immediately I told him "No Isaac," but being so intent on what he was after, he didn't listen to me.
At the same time I said no, I also jumped up from the couch and hurried over to the cup in hopes of getting to it before he did. He was much closer to the cup than I was, and he had it in his hands and on the way to his mouth before I took it away. The big smile on his face instantly vanished, and after a stunned pause, he started to cry... more like a scream really. He was upset that he didn't get the drink he had wanted so badly, but he was also mad at me.
I hurried into the kitchen to grab a new sippy cup and put fresh milk in it, all the while Isaac cried like I had deeply offended him. It wasn't his normal cry to tell me that he wants something, he was clearly upset with me. Even after I gave him the new sippy cup he wouldn't drink it, and he when I picked him up he struggled to get out of my arms. He was angry with me for taking away something that yesterday he had had and enjoyed, and expected to be just as good today. He didn't understand that today it would be different. And when I gave him the new milk, he didn't want it. I don't know if he didn't want it just because he just upset and no longer wanted to drink, or if he had made a connection that I had taken a cup away and he shouldn't have it, and so he shouldn't have the new cup either.
I wonder if God feels like I did at this point, when God sees us heading in a direction in our lives that would be detrimental to us, and tries to tell us no, but we don't listen, and sometimes he removes the possibility from us, to keep us from going down that path, and even when we are provided with the solution to our problem later we don't recognize it, and don't appreciate it. God knows what is best for us, but we don't don't trust him. Some people get angry with God and turn away from him, blaming them for their problems.
I also wonder if there are things in my life that I'm hanging onto or going after that are like curdled milk; things that are not good for me, and God knows it, but that I still want. Maybe something that used to be good for me, but isn't anymore, or at least not right now. I've been tossing around the idea of going back to college, probably just one class, but it just keeps not working out... the schedule wouldn't work out for me, we can't come up with the money, my babysitter is busy at that particular time, our internet is too slow to consider online... Maybe I'm trying to go after curdled milk, and God is rushing it away from me. Maybe in a few years the opportunity will present itself to me again, but for now it's just not in the plan.
After about 15 minutes of this I opened my eyes because he had just made a happy sound and started crawling quickly, and I wanted to know what had piqued his interest. He had spotted a sippy cup that he had dropped the night before. If the sippy cup had just had water in it, I probably would have just let him have it, but it had milk. Milk that had more than likely curdled overnight, and he really shouldn't be drinking it. Immediately I told him "No Isaac," but being so intent on what he was after, he didn't listen to me.
At the same time I said no, I also jumped up from the couch and hurried over to the cup in hopes of getting to it before he did. He was much closer to the cup than I was, and he had it in his hands and on the way to his mouth before I took it away. The big smile on his face instantly vanished, and after a stunned pause, he started to cry... more like a scream really. He was upset that he didn't get the drink he had wanted so badly, but he was also mad at me.
I hurried into the kitchen to grab a new sippy cup and put fresh milk in it, all the while Isaac cried like I had deeply offended him. It wasn't his normal cry to tell me that he wants something, he was clearly upset with me. Even after I gave him the new sippy cup he wouldn't drink it, and he when I picked him up he struggled to get out of my arms. He was angry with me for taking away something that yesterday he had had and enjoyed, and expected to be just as good today. He didn't understand that today it would be different. And when I gave him the new milk, he didn't want it. I don't know if he didn't want it just because he just upset and no longer wanted to drink, or if he had made a connection that I had taken a cup away and he shouldn't have it, and so he shouldn't have the new cup either.
I wonder if God feels like I did at this point, when God sees us heading in a direction in our lives that would be detrimental to us, and tries to tell us no, but we don't listen, and sometimes he removes the possibility from us, to keep us from going down that path, and even when we are provided with the solution to our problem later we don't recognize it, and don't appreciate it. God knows what is best for us, but we don't don't trust him. Some people get angry with God and turn away from him, blaming them for their problems.
I also wonder if there are things in my life that I'm hanging onto or going after that are like curdled milk; things that are not good for me, and God knows it, but that I still want. Maybe something that used to be good for me, but isn't anymore, or at least not right now. I've been tossing around the idea of going back to college, probably just one class, but it just keeps not working out... the schedule wouldn't work out for me, we can't come up with the money, my babysitter is busy at that particular time, our internet is too slow to consider online... Maybe I'm trying to go after curdled milk, and God is rushing it away from me. Maybe in a few years the opportunity will present itself to me again, but for now it's just not in the plan.
Love the analogy! Thanks for sharing.
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