A whirl of things

I wrote this just over a week ago, I thought it would be a good thing to post.

If three weeks ago I had told myself about the two weeks that I have just had, I would have thought that I were crazy. If anyone else would have suggested it, I would have rolled my eyes and shifted my weight, and thought that they were being utterly ridiculous. Two weeks. Its hard to believe that it has only been two weeks. It seems like so much longer.

I suppose the story starts last Christmas. At our family reunion, I was talking to Heather and Tejay, trying to figure out what I wanted to do during the summer break between semesters at school. Heather suggested that I come live with them for the summer. Tejay said that I wouldn't have to pay them rent if I would go on one date every month that I was here. It seemed like a decent deal to me, so I agreed. At the end of April I took a plane to Denver and began my summer at the Cardon residence.

Remembering my deal with Tejay I started attending the single's ward in the area so as to more easily make friends that I could convince to go on a date with me just so I could keep my deal. I was expecting to have to ask some guy out because up until now I guess I've never really been all that date-able. It came as quite a surprise when Doug asked me out. I accepted, I figured that would be my date for May and I wouldn't have to worry about obnoxious dating until June.

I met Doug on Monday night at FHE, and he asked me out for the next Saturday. So at the end of that week I had my date with him. Much to my surprise, at the end of that date he asked me out again for the following Saturday. I had a good enough time with him, so I accepted. Two dates for the month of May. With those two dates I would much double my lifetime date count.

Two days later on Monday night again, I met Dean. He says that he talked to me the week before at FHE, but I don't remember it at all. Dean and I got to talking after FHE as people were dissipating, and we had a very nice conversation. We talked about politics, and stars, and many other subjects. During the course of this conversation, he asked me to go to dinner with him sometime. He said that it would probably have to wait until the next week because he was planning on going out of town that next weekend. I said that would be fine, thinking about the date that I had planned with Doug on Saturday anyways. Doug came and interrupted our conversation shortly after that, so Dean, sensing that Doug wanted to talk to me left kind of abruptly.

Doug came over that night and we talked for a couple of hours after FHE. Again, we had some good conversation, he was a nice guy, but for some reason, I kept comparing it with the relatively short conversation that I had had with Dean.

The next day, Tuesday, I was babysitting Natalie for Heather, and the phone rang. Expecting it to be one of Heather's friends, I answered it expecting to take a message to pass along. I was very surprised when the phone turned out to be for me, and even more surprised when it was Dean. Dean said that he was just calling to make sure that I hadn't given him a bogus phone number, and to apologize for leaving so quickly the night before.

Dean and I talked on the phone for several hours that day. Heather and Tejay had a meeting that night, and I was going to be babysitting Natalie again, but I convinced them to take Natalie with them. Dean called again just after Heather and Tejay left for their meeting. Because I wasn't babysitting as I was previously planning on, he asked me if I wanted to go get some ice cream with him.

That night we got ice cream, and we drove around. We drove up into the canyon and saw the city lights, and we just talked. We talked for quite some time about a range of different subjects. I found that I could talk to him. I wasn't trying to hide things, or put on a front like I usually do. We discussed some things that I really hadn't expected, and we talked about some things that I had talked about with very few other people.

I came home that night very confused. After knowing a guy for just over 24 hours, and having gone on one date with him, I liked Dean very much. Having never really liked a boy before, all of this was a bit overwhelming and very confusing. I was the person who in high school never even had a crush on a boy. My friends in both high school and college came to me to get advice for their relationship problems, but I had never even experienced a minor attraction. This was all very new.

The next day I was surprised again by a phone call for me. Again it was from Dean. He had just gotten off work, and he wanted to know if I wanted to go hang out with him that afternoon for a bit. I did, and so he came over and again we spent that afternoon, and evening, and slightly into the night just driving around. We drove up to the top of Pikes peak and looked out onto the city, we drove to a park and walked around for a bit, and we drove around the city with particular destination. We were just talking, and enjoying each other's company. We spent a lot of hours together on Wednesday, and I really feel that I got to know him a lot that day.

It was also Wednesday that we agreed that we liked each other. He held my hand on Wednesday, and he tried putting his arm around me on Wednesday. He was always very careful and cautious that I was always comfortable, and okay with everything that was going on. He was very chivalrous and very respectful. By the end of Wednesday, I liked this guy more than I ever expected to like any guy. You can guess what my state of mind was like.

On Thursday, Dean called me again, and we went drove around again. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and now Thursday. We talked for hours on end, and we never seemed to run out of subjects. We found that we have a lot of the same ideals, a lot of the same quirky thoughts about things. Every hour that I spent with him, the more that I liked him.

On Thursday night I received my first kiss. There were multiple times that evening that we came close, but either one of us or the other would hold back. I came home that night slightly flustered. I didn't know what to do from here. I had known Dean for four days at this point, and I had already kissed him. It was all moving very quickly and I was just confused and frustrated. All of the night prior, I had come home and reported to Heather and Tejay about my day and my feelings, and our conversations. Thursday, I bypassed that and sat in my room. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I just had to figure stuff out.

By Friday morning, I had come to peace with it. This was happening. Even though I had expected to wake up every single morning only to discover that it had been a dream, I finally was able to convince myself that none of this was a dream. I met a boy, I liked him, and in a matter of days, I was falling in love with him. That night I only got a couple of hours of sleep between thinking, and praying, and writing in my journal, and thinking some more.

Friday Dean didn't have to work, so he came and picked me up in the morning. I don't even remember what we did that day, I don't remember exactly what we did a lot of those days. I do remember that we did a lot of talking that day. We talked about a lot of deep things, which eventually brought us around to the subject of marriage. We agreed that there was definitely potential, but we didn't take it very much farther than that.

Friday evening, we drove up to Denver with Heather and Tejay so that we could babysit Natalie while they attended the temple. While they were in the temple, we took a walk and found ourselves in a furniture store. We walked around the store, and fooled several people into thinking that we were married and Natalie was our baby. That was a lot of fun. After that we went back to the temple grounds and just hung around outside while we waited for Heather and Tejay. It felt good to be outside the temple with him. It was fun to see him taking care of Natalie so carefully. It felt good just to be with him.

Saturday, we decided that it might be a good idea to spend some time apart. I took that opportunity to call Mom and Dad and give them a little bit of a heads up on what was happening. I had my date with Doug that day, which I was thoroughly dreading. Doug really was a nice guy, but I was pretty sure that he liked me as more than just a friend. I was pretty sure that he would ask me out again, and at this point it didn't really feel fair to let that happen, so I kinda had to let him know what was going on.

An hour before Doug was to come pick me up for our date, Dean called. It was very nice to hear from Dean. After worrying all day about what exactly to tell Doug, it was just calming to hear from Dean. Dean came over to help Tejay with the deck that we've been building in the back yard...or so we claimed :). So I got to see Dean before I had to go out with Doug. That date with Doug was the most awkward thing ever. My thoughts were thoroughly elsewhere, so I was having a hard time conversing with Doug. I was trying to figure out exactly how long was polite to let the date go on. I had accepted the date, so I had to honor that and go with him, but at the same time, I really just didn't want to be there, and it just didn't seem fair to Doug. I wanted to get back because Dean was still hanging out with Heather and Tejay, but I didn't want to be rude to Doug. I'm very glad that it all worked out. Doug really is a good guy, and he was very polite and he handled my blow off with grace. I still felt terrible though.

I came home to Dean as quickly as I could manage. Heather, Tejay and Dean were just sitting down to dinner when I got home. It was so good just to be there with Dean after that stressful experience. We spent the rest of that evening as well as all day Sunday together. Monday was Memorial day, so Dean and I went with Heather and Tejay to a park and played some games, it was pretty fun. We spent the entirety of that day together as well.

Tuesday, Dean had to work again, but he usually gets off work around 2:00 give or take. So he would come over as soon as he got done, and we would spend all afternoon and evening together every day that week.

I don't remember exactly which day our 'potential for marriage' turned into something a bit more. I think it may have been Sunday or Monday, I'm really not sure. So here's my real news. I'm pretty much engaged. He still hasn't exactly officially asked me, but it has pretty much been decided. Yesterday, Sunday, we met with our bishop, just to talk to him and keep him involved with this whole process. Right after church we called Mom and Dad. Dean talked with both of them, as well as Heidi. He talked to Dad for quite some time. I hope that went well, I only heard bits and pieces of Dean's end of the conversation, so I'm not exactly sure.

I met Dean two weeks ago. Monday, May 19^th. So much has happened in two weeks... It hardly seems real to me, and I'm sure that every one else is probably thinking that I've completely lost my mind and am making irrational decisions. Time is so relative though. It feels like to much longer, and I feel that I know him a lot better after two weeks than some other people that I've known for a year or more.

Dean Clayton Dawes is 24 years old. He is in the US Army. He has been deployed to Afghanistan twice in the last six years and is leaving again next May and will be gone for a year except for a two week leave halfway through. He has training for this in December that he has to go through, and will be gone for nearly a month. In September, I am going on the Mormon American Travel Studies through BYU-I. I will be going to several American and church history sights, and will be receiving class credit. I'll be gone on that trip for nearly a month as well. Because of these conflicts and a couple of others, we are currently playing with the idea of Early August to get married. If not August, then probobly October, but at this point we're leaning more towards August. We still don't know where exactly. Possibly Utah, but more likely Denver. We still have a lot of stuff to figure out.